And not just from women I meet.  A friend of mine called she is depressed.  She used to feel sexy and beautiful, but now all she feels is self-conscious and ugly.  I wanted to say something wise and wonderful,but what I ended up saying was, “Well fuck, welcome to the club.”  I really wanted the ground to swallow me up after that, then I thought about it.  It’s true, so that’s why I said it.  Almost all people feel this way.  I get this way myself and I’m a flasher from way back when.  But now a days the body is fatter, older and things hang a bit lower, and that fucking mirror doesn’t hand out compliments.
  Last time I removed an artcle of clothing in front of someone I wouldn’t remove it all the way. That’s not usually like me, but the day before I’d work eight hours carrying and hauling firewood so I had bruises everywhere.  On my right boob where one piece bit me (okay it actually pinched me but it felt like it had teeth) I have a ugly big deep blue bruise.  On both of my shoulders I have some where I tried to hold up a falling pile of wood (guess how that went).  That shit gets to you and if you combine it with all the other crap you go through in day, it adds up.

If your lucky and you work on it you can have less of those days by concentrating on what makes you feel beautiful.  For me the memory of a touch, a compliment about how I smell, the color of my eyes or my smile makes my day.  I try to count my blessings for the stuff I do have.  So the boobs hang low and are bruised, I still have them.  So the thighes are large at least I can still walk and maybe the brain does sometimes malfunction, but it’s still working.  Granted the package could be prettier, thinner and sometimes even a little more sweet, but I also know that even with all the faults people still find ways to love me.  So when you start hearing all those voices in your head think about all the good stuff.  That one touch, the one voice or just the one thing that makes you smile.  It’s make a difference.