I’m going to be on my own for a while.  Which after 13 years of having somebody here all the time is proving to be a switch.  But I asked for sometime to work on me and that is exactly what I plan to do.  First I have to get the feel of it.  I shopped for one today and I think I went overboard.  Oops, but most will freeze.  My puppy is sad.  Not sure what is going on.  But he will get used to it.  We all will.  Tired.  Think I will finish up the laundry and then sleep.  New resident coming in and lots of shifts to cover!  Need my beauty sleep!  Much love to all!

Hi ya!  Monday night waiting for One Tree Hill to come on.  I am avoiding laundry and unloading and loading the dish washer.  I will do it eventually, but I don’t wanna!  I don’t know what I want to do yet.  Still figuring stuff out.

So far I have missed my sister in law Debra’s birthday and my brother Les and his wife Anne Anniversary.  So Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary.  My loss of all things is due to new stress which I will talk about eventually.  But I apologize all the same.  I only have two brothers and they both only have one wife a piece (as far as I know) and Anne has been my friend longer then she has been my sister in law.  They deserve better then that.  I suck.

My Counsleor   she asked me to start keeping a diary.  To note how I felt at the beginning and ending of each day and write what is on my mind.  I avoided doing that.  I don’t think I really wanted to know what is on my mind.  BUT today I decided to do it through the end of the month and then when I go back to see her maybe I will have a better idea of where I stand.  So wish me luck.  Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it because I do nothing out of the ordinary, but I guess ordinary can be important!

Can”t tell you how much I hate the idea of spending another Sunday cleaning.  But once again that is exactly what I am doing.  If you were to ask other individuals that live here you would hear that this place doesn’t look that bad and that I’m just getting upset to be upset.  But you know what I don’t really give a fuck what anybody else thinks.  The dishes need done, the kitchen needs swept and mopped and both the furniture and the floors in the living room need to be vacuumed because that is how I want it to be.

I don’t like walking into a messy kitchen.  I don’t like sitting in cat hair.  I don’t like the feeling that we are just steps away from living like we did in the trailer.  I will not live like that again.  EVER!  So if I have to get on my knees and scrub out the tub then that is what I do.  Everyday the picture is becoming clearer and clearer of what I want.  Now that I’m looking for it!

I don’t get a lot of time to look out my living room window or just sit and enjoy the sunshine.  But I am happy to say that two members of my family love to sit for hours in the sun.

Cali usually sits on the left side if your looking out the window.  I used to want to put flowers or something huge and “creative” in the window.  But my children are happy with it.  So why fix what’s not broken.

Meeya likes the right side better and when she is sleeping nothing but the can opener gets her attention.  I know these pictures are a little dark and I apologize for that.  I lighten them some, because they are really dark.  But I’m still learning all this tech crap.

So what’s planned for the day?  Today I will sleep and I will clean, then work at 11pm.  Hope you all have a great day!

I must admit I am feeling pretty good today.  Just an occasional cough has me grabbing my mid section because it’s so sore.  I’m still sleeping a ton, but it’s okay.  More sleep means getting better quicker and what the hell do I have to do other then house work and t.v.?

I sent my friend in England some Peeps and some Jelly beans because she hasn’t had any in years.  If I wanted to get them to her in 3 days $37.  Being that I am poor I went the 7 to 10 day delivery and that was still $16.  And the funny thing is the stuff inside cost about $5 to buy.  Oh well.  If it makes her happy that is all that matters.  She has had a bit of a rough time lately so if peeps help then peeps it is.

Off to work!  C ya!

The Inside of my mouth nose and chest are coated in goo.  I know it is part of the drying out process and I will be blowing my nose and spitting out snot for the next couple of days.  BUT that also means that I will be removing all that crap from my lungs and throat and so bring on the tissue!

Other then that I’m feeling something else.  Not sure what to call it yet.  Anger, resentment, disappointment or sadness.  Not ready to get into it yet, but I will be.

You know that I love my job, my residents and my co-workers, but somedays I would like to hit somebody in the balls.  This weekend simple tasks left to be done.  All they had to do was make sure they had everything for the weekend (which I packed) and drive.  I don’t know how they could fuck it up, but they did.  And giving special needs adults Easter baskets is good.  But they don’t have self control so after about a half hour or so remove the candy from their room.  Otherwise they will eat until they are bouncing off walls.  But no the staff leave it because it’s theirs.  Sorry folks first concern is residents health and safety.  So if I have to be the bad guy and remove it then I will.  Why does it have to be so complicated?

I look like ass, but I will live.  My blood pressure was up and I sounded a little stuffed in the lungs, but no signs of my old friend bronchitis!  Yeah!!!  So I got a antibiotic and cough medicine.  Then a refill of my heavy duty Motrin for my knees thank you! Then blood pressure refills.  Can you say Cha-Ching $$$$$.  But I’m worth it.  I’m tired of feeling and I gather looking like ass.
So I came home took my meds, had a little chicken (just praying it stays down) and I’m waiting for the tired feeling to kick in. 
So my friends how was Easter?  Take Care!

Okay anybody who knows me knows that I get some pretty and often colorful text messages from my friends.  I got this one today in honor of Eatser.

Think Your life is bad? Try being an egg.  You only get laid once & eaten once.  It takes 20 minutes to get hard & the only chick to sit on you is your mom.  Happy Easter!

I Love My Friends!