Cindyisms

Feel like I should be saying something profound, but I think one deep conversation a day is all I can handle.  So lets talk about the differences between male soap and female soap.  I was thinking about this, this morning.  Women’s soap has names like Caress and Dove and shit like that.  Guys soap has names like Irish Spring, Lever 2000 and Safe Guard.  And of course I believe all men’s soap has something to do with penis’s.  Irish Spring is what an Irish guy calls getting an hard on.  Lever 2000 refers to a penis and how big a guys wishes it was, and Safe Guard is named so that after you use your dork you wash it against germs.  Okay it is a little out there, but it’s what I do.  I really need a life!

Hey everybody how was your Valentine’s Day?  I think I had a pretty good one! My husband bought my my chocolates, a mini terrarium( it will live longer then flowers), a new wallet ( guess he got tired of looking at the old one with rubber bands around it), a rose pin, and two cards.  I didn’t burn dinner and the cheesecake came out extra fluffy!  Then a nice long nap before I had to go to work. 
How about you all?  Anybody want to share what they did?  I’d love to hear from you!

Okay I have a bitch.  As some you know I am an animal lover.  I have no children and my pets are the closest thing I have.  I don’t dress them up in clothes or build them gold trim beds or any of that weird shit, but I do take very good care of them.
My oldest cat is a long haired marmalade who weighs 18lbs and is the sweetest thing you ever saw.  He also is a clean freak, I have to change the cat box every two days and his bowl has to shine.  Quirks and all it’s worth it.  Unfortunely he also attracts hair snarls and dirt so I keep him shaved down for his own comfort.  I have been going to the same groomers for two years and I was happy with the service until Thursday.

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Hope you all have a great day and get lucky!

Valentines day is one of those holidays that I’m not usually all that concerned about.  I mean some kid in diapers shooting love arrows at your butt isn’t all that big of a deal.  Except this year, after six years of hard times and no money I decided I WANT IT ALL!  Yep, that’s right flowers (not roses I hate roses), candy (Lindt Truffles), a stuff animal, a small jewerly token (not real I lose the real stuff) and a card.  Does it sound like I’m asking too much?  Maybe, but the chick who pays your bills, shops, cleans and even occasionally cooks needs a little reward sometimes.
Now before you fellas get your BVD’s all bunched would you like to hear what I did in return?  I order direct TV with two boxes, I bought a little money clip, I am making dinner and desert from scratch (Loose Lasanga, garlic bread, salad and fluffy cheese cake), and of course his card.  See I would never expect to get something for nothing.  And say that after the nine thousand hints I dropped I don’t get anything I’ll live.  But folks do something special for your mate, even if things aren’t perfect a little something can make a difference.

Okay I’ve had enough!  I got a phone call today that a friend of mine “accidently” overdosed on some pills, would I write something for the funeral.  First of all don’t you have to be on some type of pills before an overdose can be accidental?  If your not isn’t just on purpose? And second why do people keep doing this?
I mean life gets hard and lots of times it sucks so bad I want to scream, but never in my wildest dreams would I ever kill myself!  My theory is simple, why make it easier for those who are giving you shit in the first place.  Why punish those that love you that you are leaving behind? 
I’ve lost my best friend because he was stupid, got drunk and ate a tree.  I lost this friend with pills, what the fuck!

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For some you this entry will be a disappointment, I’m talking about a Mc Donalds Big & Tasty.  Yep counting calories has gotten easier when I started eating real food and stopped trying to starve myself to death, but once in a while you got to splurge.  Today I had to have a burger and I knew if I didn’t get one I’d eat a hundred other things that I didn’t want to satisfy the desire.  So having learned one little fuck up beats a hundred off to Mc Donalds I went.
No feelings of guilt, feeling statisfied and now and can tackle the dishes (again)! Anybody want to dry while I wash?

I have the whole day to myself and nothing to do.  The old man has to work the day shift which leaves me six hours to do whatever I want.  So I sit here with my finger up my ass (not really, I’m not that flexible) trying to figure out what to do.
Can’t go out shopping because I know I’d end up at Best Buy in the Cds.  Could go visiting, but the people I know would be home are kind of boring.  Could do the dishes, laundry, and stuff, but that would be being domestic and that is a huge no-no.  So I guess I’ll make myself a nice cup of Butterfinger hot chocolate, grab the cordless phone (so I don’t have to move until I have to pee) and curl up with a good book. What a stressful life I lead! LOL!

Got my first private hate mail on my blog.  I’m so proud! It seems that I am “offensive and rude” and that “I give women a bad name”  and “how dare I call myself a christian when I write such filth”.
My answer: Blow Me!  Don’t like it, don’t read!
I write for me and only me. I write whatever pops into my head that day.  Every woman should be judged as an individual, not because of another. 
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go find something else offensive to write about.

I was scanning through the radio tonight while working and I came to a preacher yelling about the sins of porn.  How it corrupts the mind, leads people down the path to sin and treats women like play toys.
I’m sorry, but I like porn and I like to be treated like a play toy!  Is that wrong?  I know there are people out there that buy into all that crap, but what’s the fun in that?  I think porn can be fun, especially if your sharing it with someone you lust…I mean love. The guys at work think that my husband is the luckiest man in the world, not only is it okay that he keeps porn, I actually read and watch it too.  Most of their old ladies freak at the idea.  It took almost five years of marriage to get him to realize that porn doesn’t have to be hidden under the bath mat.

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