I’m reading a book about how to have red hot sex all the time and one of the chapters deals with the subject of masturbation. Let me tell you the book isn’t all that good, so while reading I began to drift away.
I realized that the word masturbating doesn’t really work for me. I mean look at the word…
Mastur is close to master as in I’m a slave to my pussy and bating is very close to baiting as in baiting a hook. Which makes me think of fish and of course I know I don’t need to go on from there.
Some women talked about calling it mistressbating, but that has it’s own problems. Mistress is like saying I’m trying to get off using somebody elses pussy and bating well just see above.
Now there are the lovely expressions jerk off, whacking or my all time favorite “pleasuring yourself”. I gotta laugh at that one. I need a fancy dinner, candles dripping wax and a bubble bath to go along with my hand in my crotch to make it pleasurable.
I think I need to come up with a new pharse. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when I hear it. All I do know is it won’t have anything to do with fish.
11 Jan 2003 at 12:50 pm | #
Personally, I think masturbation is more of a stress relief than anything else.
Those endorphins definitely have a hefty kick, anyway.
But a new word to describe the process more appropriately? Hhhhmmmm, well… Can’t say I’m fond of any of the afore mentioned ones either. Unfortunately, I’ll be damned if I have a better or different word to suggest at this point. Maybe in a day or a week or two.
12 Jan 2003 at 02:07 pm | #
Anne’s on the right track… maybe ‘body yoga’? or how about ‘de-stressing yourself’ ?
13 Jan 2003 at 09:16 pm | #
I never really bothered with trying to come up with a palatable name for the act (I know dozens of slang terms for it ranging from funny to disgusting), I just look at it as the preferable alternative to a monotonous life of horrible abstinence. One lesson I learned growing up is you need to know how to do things yourself...there wont always be someone else to do it for you. I’m pretty sure that was said in reference to doing the laundry or cleaning my room, but good advice nonetheless.
14 Jan 2003 at 06:49 pm | #
For the singles it is a way to relieve frustration and loneliness.
For the maried it helps avoid infidelity. In both situations it equals substituting some one ie: SUBSEX. What do you think? (Man I had to reach behind the bed for the dictionary more than once to accomplish this one!)
16 Jan 2003 at 02:08 pm | #
I like the term “rolling the peanut” for women. Also “rockin the little man in the boat” is funny too.
22 Nov 2003 at 12:13 pm | #
I think women who don’t have a man to do should go out more often and do it themselves rock on Cindy and keep masturbating
08 Apr 2004 at 02:46 am | #
HMMMmmmmm…
how about Polishing the Oyster, teasing the volcano, making honey, Shampooing My Hair, TIckling the abalone, Rowing the Canal, LIcking the candy dish, Jumping the bridge, kneading cookie dough, massaging the tribble, cuddling the ewok, watering the orchid, and just plain enjoying the best legal drug there is.
05 Sep 2004 at 11:23 pm | #
I call ithamburger! But I would rather have cavieare with you! Tom