There is this new Instant Message thing going on where people you are chatting with can ask you twenty questions and you have to answer truthfully. Ever heard of it? Me neither, but my god-daughter has. Smart ass little bitch. So first she hits me up with her problem. She is 13 and she wants to go out with an older boy. How much older? 4 years! Yes a seventeen year old and she wants me to help her convince her step-dad that it’s a good idea. The girl is using too much hair spray or something to think that I would do that. Which is basically what I told her. She she let it drop. I should have known she gave up a little to easily.
So she ask me to play that stupid game. She starts off with the easy ones. Was I actually a red head when I was younger. When did I get my first tattoo. Then how old was I when I started dating. Did I ever date anyone older then me. How much older. CRAP! I saw where this was going and I still walked into it. I dated a guy that was older then me a time or two. And so she was trying to use my own dating record against me. I pointed out two differences 1) I was 15 with a nineteen year old 2) I wasn’t dumb enough to ask for permission. CRAP! I mean I wasn’t smart enough to ask for permission so my parents could help me avoid the pitfalls of youth. BUT by the time I tried to corrected myself I knew I lost the whole stupid argument.
So I took another approach. “Look you are going to do whatever it is you want to do. And you will probably date this boy. Here are a couple of things to keep in mind. Not many 17 year old boys are virgins anymore. Relationships with older guys means more mature relationship. So be prepared. Go to planned parenthood get on the pill and get condoms. That way I’m not great-god mother before I’m 35. By the way any mature relationship with this guy is consider statutory rape. Meaning even if you said yes, his ass still goes to jail. And you know as well as I do if your mother finds out your ass is grass.”
She says, “I’m not thinking about sex. I’m thinking about movies and bowling.” I said, “Great but he’s probably thinking of pussy and orgasm. “ To which she told me she’d think about what I said. Probably more too shut me up, then because what I said made a difference.
Why me? Why? I don’t know what to say in these situations. I mean come on! Part of me wished I lied, but then again she’s been lied to her whole life and I said I’d never do that. So now I’m worried. This boy is too old for her. He’s going to splatter her heart all over the place. It’s hard enough suffering from a broken heart when your older and been through the pain a couple of times. Why couldn’t she find herself a nice little 14 year old geek? Then when things ended she would only have a little taste of heart break and she can work her way up to the big stuff.
15 Jan 2006 at 09:48 am | #
Wow Glad it was your 20 questions not mine. I do think that you gave the right answers. She can still trust you.
15 Jan 2006 at 07:10 pm | #
She does trust you, otherwise the subject would not have come up in the first place, game or no.
Heartbreak happens. Less so if use of a condom has been discussed.
My take on what you wrote about here is that you did just fine. She probably figures it easier to ask you about your younger days than to have her mother mumbling. No adolescent wants to believe their parents had a life before they were born.
Many youngsters have come to my kitchen for advice along these lines. Sometimes it is easier if the relationship is more friendly than guardian.